Atlanto-cranial sliding joint implant

An illustration designed for a paper on a sliding joint implant, which bridges the atlas bone and cranium of the skull. The implant mechanism extends the range of motion between the skull and vertebrae of the neck, allowing a further 27 mm horizontal movement left and right (54mm total increase).

The device is currently in phase 3 clinical trials following FAD implant approval last year, with 23 current recipients so far, who have recieved implants at allied Neurosurgery research centres in New York, Dublin, and London. The joint prosthesis serves largely a cosmetic role to improve non verbal communication, allowing patients to give increased “attitude” when people disrespect them (by approximately 17.6% in the study group), and enhancing the range of of “moves” available to “pop and lock” dancers. Thus far, there have been no instances of neurovascular compromise, or other injury from destabilisation of the atlanto-occipital joint through enhanced mobility.

The research and development group behind the prosthesis (University of Hamphire’s Understanding of Health department, or UHUH), are delighted with the results so far, and have patented two further models; a 35mm horizontal rail (70mm increased range of motion), and a 32mm radius (64mm diameter) circular rail, with which they hope to begin human testing within the next 18 months.

The paper is to be released in the Journal of Surgical Aesthetic Speculative Science (SASS) later this year, with an online epub version ahead of print available from 01/04/17, for subscribing institutions. Reference:

Mubuntu RS, Ohno G, Kearns C. Atlanto-cranial implant for enhanced lateral translation.  J Surg Aes Spec Sci. 2017. Iss: 17:5.

Yes, this is an April fool’s day post, and the first in my “Sketchy Surgery” series.. Have a good one peeps!  Subscribe to artibiotics to keep in the loop when new articles drop!